This is kind of a response to a string of questions answered by @shay-gnar regarding why minors should stay out of 18+ spaces; I had started writing it as a reblog to the post but realized it was a bit too big and detailed.
****Now even though my blog is 18+ (and I cannot stress that enough) I am okay with minors reblogging ONLY THIS POST FROM ME FOR EDUCATIONAL AND INFORMATIVE REASONS.****
Okay kiddies, let’s get some truth going.
When I was 15 a guy who was 19 started hitting on me at work. I liked it. I wasn’t the most confident kid, I hated myself for so many reasons and what luck for this guy he just so happened to start hitting on me after a breakup. He said all the pretty words needed to make me fall for him, and I did. Really fucking hard. We started dating and after a bit I was convinced that we were going to get married.
Guess what he introduced me to? BDSM and Dom/sub relationships.
So after he knew I was his the abuse started. He started borrowing money from me saying he’d pay me back. He wouldn’t talk to me for days if I said something that upset him. He made me stop seeing my best friends, got unreasonably mad when I hung out with guys and isolated me from my family. He’d wildly accuse me of things and would yell at me until I admitted they were the truth; which they never were. I couldn’t even look both ways before crossing the street without him accusing me of checking out male joggers. When we had anal sex and I asked him to stop because it hurt he kept going, he raped me. He cheated on me with multiple women, and even though I knew it was happening I still made excuses for him.
I was 17 when I finally came to my senses and left him, but only after countless nights of crying, blaming myself, and thinking what I did wrong. Even to this day I sometimes catch myself asking why the fuck I wasn’t enough. After we broke up I came to my parents a few weeks later and told them I
needed a therapist, a few months after that I was rushed to the hospital
after I cut myself too deeply. I’ve been in therapy since, I’m 20 now.
I spent two years with this guy because he had worn me down so badly I thought no one else would ever like me. He was the best I would ever get. Don’t get me wrong people tried to help me the entire time, but I always made excuses for him because I loved him. I put up with so much bullshit because he made me believe in him and this fantasy life he could give me. I’m never going to get those years back; all I get are horrible nightmares, anxiety attacks, severe trust issues and traumatic memories.
He mentally and sexually abused me for years and I still carry the mental and physical scars he caused.
Most of my mental illnesses stem from the trauma and the toxic environment he caused.
I was young, I was stupid, I was easily manipulated.
So when we say we don’t want minors in kink for YOUR safety, we really fucking mean it.